Mystic Snake
Mystic Snake is a contestant on TV Stars Hawaii. Mystic Snake entered the game in Secret to Success. He opened up by saying that he was mostly there in the game for the free vacation. Later on, Reed commented that his boyfriend was “hung like a horse”. Snake said that he once dated a horse, and that the horse left him for another horse. He commented later that Joan had somehow not noticed Snake in the background eating five tourists since the game had began. He also stated that mystic animals were “way less annoying” than most of the people in the house. Snake barely lost the opening VIP challenge to Audrey, and vowed to win the next one. At elimination, he did not receive any votes and was promptly renewed for another week. In episode two, Scandalous!, Snake asked who Connor even was. After Greeling tackled Linda, Snake told the house that he tried to use Twitter once but realized he had no thumbs. After Walnut screamed about his pants being on fire, Snake told him that he would smile, but he is a snake, and therefore cannot smile. Upon the reveal of the Paparazzi, Snake commented that he had no secrets, and openly admitted to being a venomous snake. Mystic Snake then won the VIP challenge after little struggle, and then shrugged smugly. Pin told him that she was proud of him. After the reveal of the Booka Seal, Mystic Snake said in a confessional that he and seals do not get along, because aquatic animals are “always the most entitled”. After Joan asked who the real Greeling was, referring to his two personalities, Snake commented that the true “Greed” was the woman exploiting the rest of the house for her own personal gain, referring to Joan. Upon the Seal winning MVP, Snake commented that America seemed to have a preference for things that cannot talk over the actual contestants in the house. Snake offered to name the Seal “Lunch”, but he was ignored. He attempted to combine all names together into one, but the suggestion was not taken. The TV Stars News clicked on and revealed a plot from Snake to eat Joan alive, and he commented that he is a snake – what else would they expect? Joan reported then that there was ‘apparently’ a talking Snake out in Hawaii who wanted to eat her alive. During the third episode, Center of Gossip, Snake tried to dance with Princess Pin, but said he could only dance the worm because he is a snake. He vanished for the majority of the episode into a snake hole, only to come out at elimination late to stop himself from self-voting. He commented that it was better to possess many emotions than to embody a single emotion, referring to Greeling. In episode four, Potcake, Princess Pin made an error in grammar, saying that she was quenched, instead of saying she was parched. Snake corrected this and said that if she were quenched, she would not be thirsty. He said he learned this at snake school. Snake won the VIP challenge, and said that he could not say he was not deserving. Joan tried to report on him winning, but Snake warned her to refrain from bothering venomous creatures. He commented that an animal had won three times, when Joan had only won one VIP challenge. Joan then reported that Snake called her an animal, and that he had no respect for women. Snake told her that Walnut would be a good guest to have on her show, and Walnut agreed. The Host handed he muzzle punishment to Pin, and Snake commented that Joan already spoke in grunts and random noises, much like the punishment would force someone to do. Snake commented in a confessional that Pin should have muzzled someone more annoying than someone who did not speak English. In episode five, Fish Murderer, Snake hid the entire episode inside of his snake hole, not ever saying one word. Smoother Than My Raps, episode six, Snake won VIP status and almost was beaten by Ron. He said that it appeared that either the crowd or the Host was too happy about him winning. He then shed a single tear and said he was not hurt. Walnut told him that he liked him, and Joan asked how it felt to have another win. Snake told Joan that it amused him how people without legs could win so much, but he guessed that humans really are fat and overly pampered. After elimination, Ron handed out nachos to everyone, but Snake turned it down, saying that the processed cheese would likely kill him. Episode seven, 70 Seal Virgins, Snake slithered around casually, ignoring Joan. He said that there was nothing to do, until spotting Pin trying to murder Mohammed the Seal. Joan taunted him after winning VIP, and said that she was not the only person who could dominate a challenge. Snake ignored her and expressed how angry he was over Princess Pin trying to kill the Seal in front of his very eyes. After it moved, Snake commented that it was actually alive, and slithered away. In episode eight, GOTCHA!, Snake detested the VIP challenge, which was strongly undesired by him. He was beaten by Reed, and did not win MVP status from America. Snake said he would shake Reed’s hands, but he had no hands, so he did not shake. Instead, Reed shook his tail. At elimination, Snake was voted out by most people in the game because of his challenge prowess. Joan even assisted in his elimination despite also being a challenge dominator.